Exactly one year ago I've written a blog post called "Surviving Motherhood" where I shared the highs and lows of being a sleep deprived new Mama so I thought, why not write an little update?
I love writing in general, as it's a way to remember moments and tune in with feelings that sometimes I'm not able to listen because I'm running like an headless chicken behind my toddler, running the business, arguing with my partner and in general trying to not to loose my mind as much as possible!
The good thing about motherhood in general is that slowly slowly I've started to trust myself as a mother and I've build confidence and when we've hit the first year few realization came to mind:
1 and most important: the baby is alive , in one piece! And he is happy... So I must have done something right!
2 : relationship with the man is still, somehow and for some obscure reason, going.
3 : women body is fricking awesome : I survived months with few hours sleep and still able to function and give love and nurture my baby and working on the business when baby was sleeping.
4 : I've started to trust my mother instinct and stop listening to the tons of free advise that was coming my way. There is so much judgement in this parent's world that is absolutely crazy!!! There is people that believe that they know better than me and Daddy of what is good for our son.
5 : I miss my family so much! I left Sardinia more than 10 years ago and I have never felt I was missing my parents and my brother so much like a do since Lucas is born. I always felt the sadness of them far away but I was coping with that and traveling as much as possible to go and see them or them coming to visit me.
Now it's all a new level: now they are not only my parents and my brother, but they are Lucas Grandparents and Uncle and I'm super sad that they are not enjoying each other as it should be. I've grown up with my grandparents around and I have amazing memories... Lucas will not have this every day memories of them. I know he'll have different once and they'll be great too but I think he is missing on this.
And also, not having Grandparents nearby means that you can't go out for a date sometimes (although we have some amazing friends that babysit few times for us), you can't drop off the baby for a couple of hours and go to do some shopping or last minute working related issues are much more complicated to manage if the kid is home! Of course it's the same with Yannis parent and that's why we divide our holidays between Sardinia and Greece.
6 : shower time and poo time counts as a Me Time! I'm trying to get a bit of rare time for myself to go for yoga class or meet my friends for food and chats.
I so lookforward for my yoga classes as it's my way of just think about anything else and connect with my body, I'm loving this practice more and more. It's challenging my body in best possible way and I feel stronger and relaxes my mind.
Toddlehood it's an amazing stage where the kid personality is shining through and all the challenging are in a all, new level!
Lucas is 19 months old in a few days. He is such a happy and very funny dude, he loves dancing, swings, balls, reading books and bath times. He doesn't like to change nappies, he dislike eggs and he dislike waiting, even for 2 seconds!
He is also going through a fussy eating phase where every day you don't know if he is going to eat at all or if he would like something that he always loved..every day it's a surprise!
He is super friendly and can manage to catch the attention of anyone around him!
He still not sleeping through the night and his currently getting 4 teeth out at once...yes 4! It's insane, and although he is a bit poorly, he's coping quite well!
We still breastfeeding big time and I love it, it's such a special bond and and I'm really happy to give him this special place whenever he needs it, if upset or poorly, if he wants a cuddle, if he is thirsty, or for no reason at all, we just love boobie time!
I think I've settled in a sleep deprivation state where I am OK with waking up 2 times per night, it's not as bad a 4 or 5 as not so rarely happens.
The biggest challenge for me at this point is that he always needs an eye on him as he climbs everywhere and he is very fast at it...that means that he is constantly attempting his life!
Also he has so much energies and I still I can't understand where his batteries are hiding, as sometimes I wouldn't mind to switch them off!
Ah, let's not forget to mention the total mess on the house...he can take all the toys out in just a couple of minutes, then open the cupboards and play with pots and tins and the flat looks like a bomb has exploded every single day!
This age is more about physical activities and communication is blooming... it's just gets better and better and my heart is constantly expanding...when I thought I could not love him more then it happens and more love comes for this amazing human being that is teaching me so much.
He is teaching me to be patient, to laugh more, to be present in the here and now, the love for the smallest thing and more things that I still need to process!
Ahhhh after writing those things I feel quite emotional and even more grateful for this little man on my life. And I'm really grateful to my partner for sticking around even when I'm really stubborn and being difficult, he had lots of patience with me in the last 19 months (and I had lots with him too), and for being the best dad I could wish...watching them together just makes my heart explode! We couldn't make anything more perfect!
There is much more but I think it's enough for a post and also I need to run to the nursery!
Lots of love!